Sarah Macdonald's powerful Guardian article this week exposed a brutal truth about Australian families: "There are times I feel I hate them." Her words, quoting a Sydney woman caring alone for her father while her siblings disappear, reveal the devastating reality behind our caregiving crisis.

New research from the CARE Index 2025 shows that conflict, not compassion, is defining how many Australian families experience life's final stage. The numbers are stark: 8 out of 10 Australians worry that caring for aging loved ones will damage their most important relationships. They're right to be concerned.

Far from bringing families together, end-of-life care is driving them apart. 42% of adult siblings report permanent damage to their relationships due to care decisions, while 40% of adult children say serious conflict arose during a parent's final stage of life.

As Sarah's article reveals through the story of "Anna" - whose parents' visit exposed hidden dementia and led to devastating family conflict - these situations spiral quickly. One sibling carries the overwhelming burden while others stay absent, creating resentment that can last generations.

"Caregiving doesn't heal old wounds. It exposes them," explains Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet. When families fight, care suffers. Conflicted families are almost 10 times more likely to pursue inappropriate treatment, leading to longer hospital stays and compromised patient care.

The solution isn't complex - families need guidance to have difficult conversations before crisis hits. With Australia scoring just 23.1 out of 100 for care readiness, the time for action is now.

Read Sarah's article, here