There are over a million widowed Australians, and eight out of 10 of us are women. We each carry our own story of love and loss, but we share something profound - we've all had to find strength in places we never knew existed.

The fog was real. The fear, the grief, the absolute confusion that swallowed everything whole.

When you're suddenly thrust into young widowhood, you build walls without even realising it. That "I'm fine" becomes your armour, your survival mode. You plaster on that protective veneer because you have children watching, a business to run, a life that demands you keep moving when all you want to do is stop.

"Here's what nobody tells you about that facade: it works so well that people believe it. Friends drift away because you seem so "together." You become an island, impenetrable and alone, just trying to get through each day. It took me years to let that guard down, to risk being vulnerable again. And when I finally did? The most beautiful friendships bloomed. The ones who stayed, who saw through the cracks, who loved me messy and broken and rebuilding" Melissa Reader, CEO of Violet.

Rebecca Adams understands this isolation intimately. She lost her husband Daniel just six weeks after their wedding and felt completely alone at 33 until she found a connection with others who truly understood. Her response was to launch First Light Widowed Support in 2016, recognising that only those who've walked this path get the disorientation. Rebecca knows this isn't about reaching some finish line - it's about learning to live with the grief.

Mitch Gibson had 17 beautiful years with Mark before cancer turned their world upside down. That first year after losing him in 2021, alone in lockdown with fresh grief, was brutal. Now she volunteers thousands of hours as a Violet Guide, helping others navigate their darkest chapters because she understands both the exhaustion of caregiving and the devastating realisation that you'd trade anything to return to that exhaustion, rather than have to face the pain and grief once your loved one has died.

To every widow reading this: your "I'm fine" saved you when you needed it most. When you're ready to let people see the real you - broken, beautiful, rebuilding - there will be hands reaching back.

Read the full story in Sunday Life, in the Sydney Morning Herald.
Whatever your situation, Violet is here to help.